The Start of Old Beginnings
by cant.live.without.greys
Summary: After the divorce 5 years ago, Meredith Grey returns to Seattle. What happens when she has to come face to face with her past... and we all know how she gets when that happens.
1. Welcome Back

**I know that this is short and there isn't much action but i promise the other chapters will be longer. Next chapter or the one after will be MerDer!**

She slowly exited her car, closing the door with care and then looking left to right. From a bystander's point of view she might look like some kind of psycho but really, she wasn't. She was Meredith Grey. She was the woman who divorced her husband 5 years ago, for a reason she didn't quite know. She is the woman who hadn't been in Seattle since that dreadful night 5 years prior.

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_**A week ago**_

"_Dr. Grey, I know this may be of an inconvenience to you but we are cutting staff do to the economic downfall and unless you can find another job elsewhere we will need to let you go."_

_Meredith stood there with the phone pressed a little to hard against her cheek, shocked. She was the best neurosurgeon that hospital had ever seen. She had done wonders for their ratings._

"_Dr. Grey we need an answer"_

"_I'll find another job, thanks." The words were still ringing in her head long after the line went dead._

_As the reality of her situation started to settle into her mind she turned to her phone. She called hospital after hospital. They all had the same answer for her, 'we just can't afford it Dr. Grey.' After hours of avoiding that little thought crept up once more. She hesitated, she thought, she even felt tears threatening to come out. Then slowly, she reached for the phone and dialed a number she knew all to well._

*************

As the glass doors of Seattle Grace Hospital slid open, faces turned and jaws dropped. Gossiping nurses turned to their phones and familiar faces looked on kindly. Meredith now realized the reason she had left. A short black woman tore her from her thoughts.

"Grey, I heard you were coming to visit!"

"Not visiting Dr. Bailey, I work here now… again" Meredith looked at the woman as her face became skeptical and one of her eyebrows rose slightly.

"Please don't look at me like that." The realization was now clear to Meredith. This was her life, gossipy nurses and people who couldn't even take her seriously. She had to resist the urge to laugh at the irony. All that hard work and that was what she got.

"Not looking, not judging just, you know, pondering"

"Pondering?"

"Nothing it's just, Derek is the Chief and you two… you know what Grey?" Bailey said trying to dig herself out of her hole "I just hope you can do for this hospital what you did for Mayo!"

"Nice save." Meredith laughed, "Well as long as in the end you don't end up firing me, I'm all yours!"

Bailey laughed. She smiled at the woman who used to beg her for surgeries. The one who tried to drown herself. She saw the old intern in her still. She was scared and curious and eager except now she was also careful and wise. Bailey shook her head and smiled. Just give it time, she thought.

**please review!!! I've never done this before so please tell me what i did good and what i need to change.**


	2. See You Again

She made her way onto the elevator. Years of memories flooded bad to her and she pushed them back. Today was about the present, not the past. The doors slid open and reveled three nurses all standing there talking about someone's life other than their own. She headed to the back of the elevator and pushed her back against the wall. She tilted her head slightly up and closed her eyes. Today is going to be ok, she thought to herself. She repeated words of encouragement to herself over and over until a familiar name caught her attention.

"Ya, McDreamy asked her to dinner" one nurse said excitedly.

"So what, is he off limits now or something?" another one questioned.

"No, I don't think so. According to his friends he hasn't been able to be in a steady relationship for years. Ever since his wife left him."

Meredith stood there shocked. This went unnoticed by the nurses as they moved on to another victim. Derek Shepherd was still hung up on her. All these years that she had wondered how he was, he had been wallowing in self-pity. This thought made Meredith smile. It wasn't as though she was mad at the man or even disliked him. She was just selfishly happy that for once, she wasn't the only one suffering in this non-relationship. Just then the doors rang open and the nurses exited the elevator. This could quite possibly be the world's slowest elevator she thought to herself. Just as the doors were about to close a briefcase slid in between and a man stepped in side. He didn't look up but rather turned around to face the doors. Meredith looked up and almost did a double take. The perfect hair, it was more salt and pepper that she had remembered. Right, five years she told herself. The designer sports coat and the pressed jeans. She could tell from the back he was disheveled, his shoulders were bent slightly forward and his knees seemed weak.

"Rough day Dr. Shepherd?"

He stopped breathing as a chill went down his spine. He new this was coming. HR had asked him if she could have the job. The knowledge though, didn't make the reality any better. He quickly resumed breathing as he slowly turned around. He just stared at her. She was still unconditionally beautiful. Her hair was lightly curled and her make up was as usual. Not much had really changed. She looked older though, and more tired. The lines next to her eyes had become a little more prominent and the circles around them were more visible than he remembered. But she was still as beautiful as she was that night at Joes. The young twenty-something girl with a whole future ahead of her. No one ever thought that this would be it.

"Derek, you're staring at me and I feel uncomfortable"

"Sorry" was all he could muster out. He turned back to where he had been standing before.

"That doesn't mean you can't talk to me, just don't stare." she was interrupted though by the elevator doors opening and the loud noises of the rest of the world filling the small space. They slowly exited the elevator together and went toward the main desk,

"I need the post-op notes for 2381 and my guy in 2362 needs to be monitored closer than he is. Dr. Green I need an intern soon and Dr. Lowe, I'm taking OR 3 from you at 5, so your knee reconstruction is going to have to wait." Meredith watched as Derek bossed everyone around. He got 'Yes Chief' and 'Of course Chief' in return. She couldn't help but be proud of him. He finally got what he had always wanted. What he had initially came out here to do.

"Dr. Grey I need to see you in my office" Meredith nodded and followed him down a familiar path. He opened her door as she walked inside.

"Please take a seat. All right, as head of a department here you have certain privileges that other do not and I expect you to use them wisely. I expect you to understand the parameters from your previous job but if you have any questions please just ask. Here is your name card and a key to your office. Now unless you have any further questions I would go get changed, your shift starts in ten minutes." Meredith was shocked by the professionalism he was showing. Just a minute ago he was staring at her speechless in an elevator and now he was acting like she was just another world-class surgeon he was adding to the pack.

"Uh no sir, I understand. Thank you." With that she grabbed her things and moved towards he door.

"Meredith," he stopped her before she was out the door, " its nice to have you back." She smiled and nodded before closing the door.


	3. Forever Friends

**I'm sorry this has taken so long to upload. I promise that the next chapter will be up soon. I hope this isn't too boring of a chapter. I wanted to show the tense relationship of Mer and Christina. I'm sure all of you can relate to this in some way. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or the characters. They belong to Shonda Rhimes and ABC. I'm just simply a fan.**

This is weird. That was all Meredith could think. In the elevator she had felt brave. She had talked to him like they were friends. In his office he had been professional. They were acting like nothing had happened. Like they hadn't shared 7 years of marriage. Like they hadn't been divorced for 5. They were avoiding. No, more like he was avoiding. For the first time in history, Meredith Grey wanted to talk about the elephant in the room. She felt like screaming at him, or hitting him with her tiny ineffectual fists. That was the problem. She wanted so badly to get angry at him, and blame him for her ruined fairy tale, but she couldn't. She didn't know what to yell at him for. What had he done to her? What had she done to him? Why did they get divorced again? Why did the legend of Meredith and Derek end in a sad, lonely divorce? She had so many questions but no answers. That was all she wanted from him. Answers. The only problem with that was him. He seemed like he had changed, in good ways, but also in bad. He seemed closed off from everybody. The Derek she knew would smile at everybody and start up a friendly conversation with whoever was in the area. She was getting the feeling that he didn't do that anymore. She started to feel like maybe, just maybe, she had a little something to do with it.

***********

"Izzie, shut up! I am telling you for the last time, if you don't give me back the damn surgery you STOLE, I will shove a scalpel into your clavicle!" Christina yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Oh your just mad because _my_ patient turned out to be General instead of Cardio." Izzie said proudly.

"Like I said, shut up!"

"Ha-ha! Well some things never do change do they?" Meredith asked from behind. She needed to stop making an entrance like that. It was creepy. Izzie and Christina both gasped and a wide smile grew on both of their faces.

"Meredith!" They screamed unison. Izzie enveloped her in a huge hug while Christina yelled at her to move. Christina didn't hug Meredith but rather stared at her. Her smile was huge and goofy, one Meredith had never seen on her. Meredith returned the smile and then suddenly pulled Christina in for a hug. Their moment was cut short by as she came walking up.

"Hey Stevens, I need you for that case, lets go!" Izzie nodded and turned to Christina and stuck out her tongue before proceeding to run away laughing. Meredith giggled at them but stopped upon getting a glare from Christina.

"Hey so what happened? Izzie now steals your surgeries and she gets away with it? You've gone soft." Meredith teased.

"Watch it! I have not gone soft. No, not ever!" Christina joked. She stared at Meredith and then the mood of the atmosphere changed drastically. That goofy, happiness from earlier had worn off. Her smile faded and she became serious.

"Your one to talk about change." Christina said bitterly. "You drop off the face of the earth and then one day just magically appear again? I mean Meredith, you get divorced and then the next day you've gone off to god knows where without even telling me. I had to ask Richard where you were for god's sake! Not to mention never bothering to call since you left. I did all the calling and for what? So you could tell me that your never coming back here and that you'll maybe never see me again? So that you could avoid any opportunity to talk about real issues? Think about it Meredith, the majority of our conversations were about the price of rent. I miss you, and I'm really glad your back but Meredith, a lot has changed since you left and its not going to get back to normal any time soon." Christina stood there shocked at her own words. She felt drained. Five years worth of suppressed anger and in 30 seconds she had let it all out.

"Christina I… I'm so sorry I didn't call. I am going to be beating myself up for leaving like that until I die. Christina, I know this is going to sound horrible and selfish but I need you not to hate me. I need you on my side right now. So… please, before you decide you hate me completely, can I talk?" Meredith was begging and she knew it, but she didn't care. Some things are worth fighting for and this was defiantly one of those things.

Christina stood there staring at Meredith. Her eyes were welding up with tears and she was starting to fell shaky but she held her own. The she noticed something. Meredith wasn't the same girl she had been when she left. Even after Addison, and Rose, and then finally the divorce, she still had this light in her eyes. The light was dim and sad but it was there. Now you could look as hard as you wanted and you wouldn't find it. Meredith was drained. There was nothing left but a shell of a girl who once was. She was broken, maybe beyond repair, and Christina wasn't. Sure she was hurt, and angry, but she was still there… A beeping sound tore Christina from her thoughts and she looked down at her pager.

"It's the chief…" Christina looked at Meredith one last time and then sighed, "I am free for lunch… you know, we can talk…" Meredith just nodded. Christina ran off and she didn't look back. Her pride wouldn't let her.

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**Thanks for reading. Review and tell me what you think. Do you need anything clarified or is there anything you want to see in the next chapter? I promise MerDer next update!**

**Stella.**


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